The pandemic has blurred the weeks and months – with mundane conversations, zoom calls and lockdowns. My 29th birthday is in a few weeks, and my friend (unnecessarily) reminded me that next year I’m turning 30. The big 3-0.
I shrugged it off at first as I’m the youngest in my friend’s group but then others started bringing it up as well. While it’s an entire year away (2023), am I dreading it? Maybe. Have I decided if I’ll be hiding in the corner and crying or throwing a party? Nope. Am I not sure what to really think about it? Definitely.
It’s one of those things when I retrospect back on my 20s. I think I could have done more, unlocked more of my potential, made alternative choices. When you’re in your 20s, it seems like you can be forgiven for being reckless and making certain decisions. But once you turn 30 you should be pretty much on top of everything. So, here we are now and not everyone has a time-turner like Hermione.
Saying that, it’s been an interesting few years – whether it comes to being in a LDR (more on that some other time), maintaining a long-term job, letting go of toxic relationships and travelling several cities in Europe. But it could be better. It always could.
At the same time, I think we’re conditioned to have this fear of getting older. Our metabolism crashes, hang overs are worse and increased wrinkles and grey hair. Then there are unspoken expectations. Do you have an amazing (stable) relationship? Are you married? Do you own an apartment/house? Do you have tons saved in my bank account? Do you have a solid group of friends? Are you in your dream job? Is this the job/career you want to pursue the rest of your life? Do you know who you truly are? And your purpose in life?
So.. the answer to most of those questions is no. And I’m a year away from turning 30, but I think I’ll figure it out. Perhaps not in the next 365 days but eventually.
What are your thoughts on turning a milestone age – whether it’s 21, 25 or even 30?
When you said ‘I think I could have done more’, I could totally relate - I’m trying to look for PhD funding right now so I look back at my undergrad and seriously wish I had tried harder. But I think it’s about understanding that we did what we could with the knowledge, capacity and other competing desires we had at the time, and being kind to ourselves about it. An age related milestone is always a mix of polarising emotions but I’ve tried to face it with ‘grace and gratitude’ 😌