So I’m a bit of a late bloomer and have only dated one guy. We started chatting in June last year but because of COVID we didn’t start meeting up in person till the end of October. We hit it off pretty well and he was very into it. He said from the start he wants a relationship and moved the whole thing pretty quickly. He called me his girlfriend after 5 dates and would wanna plan things for the future like going away for a weekend. I ended up sleeping with him (my first time) and a week later in December things ended. He pretty much said that he can’t give me 100% at the moment and that he doesn’t deserve me. The conversation was very confusing and he would jump from wanting to slow things down to taking a break. He said that he’s afraid I might be a rebound for him because a girl at his work played around with his feelings and he doesn’t want to hurt me because he cares about me. He said he wants to work on himself and be better for me but needs to do it alone. He said I was the right person but at the wrong time. At one point he said I could really see you being the one. Part of me believes everything he said and is hurt because I thought things were going well but the other half feels like it’s all bullshit and that he didn’t have the guts to tell me he realised he just didn’t like me that much. I ended up being the one to say let’s end things so he can sort his shit out and once he does to message me and see where we individually are at. Have I been played? Should I bother waiting around or should I just move on? I’ve tried redownloading dating apps but just end up feeling guilty.
First, I am so sorry that this happened to you. Secondly, you dodged a bullet let me tell you that. This man is not ready for commitment at all. You deserve someone who knows what they want from a relationship and not someone that leads you on because they are not sure. Sending all my love and positive energy your way xxx
You should never settle for a relationship, I think you’ve made a wise decision to end things for now and am so proud of you for doing that! xx (and never feel guilty doing what’s right for you!)
Yeah something really similar happened to me. He was up and down, saying he didn’t want a relationship then saying I was the only one he’d consider being in a relationship with and that he was scared because of that. I’m quite sure he was seeing other people and after things ended, anytime I brought up that he was the one who said he didn’t want a relationship, he’d say it’s not entirely true or “that’s a lie”.
I would say that now, I’m in a new relationship where I haven’t had to question it once. I knew from the start and near 6 months later, I’m still confident in where I stand with him. I know it’s cheesy and it’s common to hear but when someone’s serious about you and your future together, you don’t question their intentions or their feelings towards you. It’s just blatantly obvious in the way that they communicate with you.
It seems like this person didn’t know what he wanted and I’ve heard a lot of experiences where it’s gets too real for people and they just panic and backtrack.